The Twindleweed Brothers Traveling Circus (episode)/Transcript
The episode opens on a shot of a tumbleweed sitting in the desert. The title "Nomad of Nowhere" fades in, and then out. The tumbleweed rolls away to reveal a small lizard creature hiding behind it. The lizard runs to multiple other objects in an attempt to hide, finally settling in a skull. The Nomad walks up to the skull, and the lizard hisses at him before calming down as the Nomad scratches its chin. Suddenly, a large circus begins to spring up around the Nomad, complete with carnival games and a large tent at the back. A voice begins to speak through the loud speakers. Voice: The Twindleweed Brothers Traveling Circus is open for business! A large crowd begins to enter the tent, quickly rushing past the Nomad. The Nomad picks up the skull to find that, sadly, the lizard has left. Voice: Come one, come all, and witness the most magical show in Nowhere! The Nomad perks up at the mention of magic. Voice: And don't forget to purchase commemorative merchandise! Available at all exits, entrances, and outhouses! The Nomad examines the large poster on the front of the circus tent, noting that it has the word 'magic' in the tagline. Excited, the Nomad enters the tent just as Skout pulls Toth up to circus behind him. Skout: Ain't this just the liveliest thing you ever did see! Toth: Why are we wasting our time here, Skout? Skout: Well, cause its fun silly! Toth: Hmph. Skout: Uh, and because I think you're pushing yourself too hard... You need to relax sometimes, Toth. This place might make ya feel better! We've been searching for the Nomad for weeks, and ain't seen hide or head of 'em. That's gotta be upsetting. Toth's face scrunches in anger as she growls. Skout: (nervously) ...B-but maybe these travelin' folk have seen him on their journey! Couldn't hurt to stick around and ask. And they've got cotton candy! Toth: Hmm... I suppose we could try to gather some information... And... I do like cotton candy. Skout: (pumping her fist) Yeehaw! Toth and Skout enter the tent and take their seats, coincidentally a few rows across from the Nomad. Voice: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Paying customers! Allow me to introduce myself. My name... On the stage, a brief puff of smoke reveals a short man. Bailey Twindleweed: ...is Bailey Twindleweed! Your master of ceremonies! The crowd claps and cheers in excitement. The Nomad nearly claps, but stop himself just in time. He instead opts to hold up a tiny flag. Bailey Twindleweed: (bowing) Thank you, thank you, you're a wonderful audience! (gasps) But wait! Ladies and gentlemen. I sense a traitor is in our midst! (crowd gasps) Yes, my dear friends. Though, I do not intend to rouse a panic, I'm afraid this is no ordinary fiend, but the fabled... Nomad of Nowhere! The crowd gasps once more as the Nomad drops his flag in dread. Toth stands up and clenches her fist in excitement while Skout distractedly attempts to buy cotton candy. Toth: What!? Bailey Twindleweed: That's right! The sinister wanderer of legend... Toth: (nudging Skout) Skout! This is it! Skout: What's it? The Nomad takes the cotton candy that Skout was trying to buy and uses it to make a fake beard as he attempts to escape the show. Bailey Twindleweed: ...the monster who wields dark magic to bring objects to life in defiance of the great El Rey, And preys upon the innocent with his unholy trickery! If only there was someone brave enough in the audience to stand up to such a villainous ne'er-do-well. You, sir! (a spotlight shines on the Nomad) Do you think you have what it takes to protect these good people? (the Nomad shakes his head no) Nonsense! The Nomad is pulled onto stage by a vaudeville hook. Twindleweed then pulls the Nomad closer while handing him a fake wooden sword. Bailey Twindleweed: Let's give our hero a round of applause! (under his breath) Don't worry, kid, just play along, this is about to get good! Oh no! This is it! He's here! The Nomand of Nowhere! A rather crudely made puppet lowers down from above, suspended by strings. The crowd jeers as Toth dejectedly sits back down in her seat. Bailey Twindleweed: Watch out, brave fighter! Lest you be thwarted by his dark magic! (the puppet claps as the fake sword is moved around, also by strings) My word! Our hero is defenseless! Whoever shall stop the Nomad now? A barrel rolls up to the puppet and explodes into a cloud of confetti and smoke. The smoke clears to reveal a man dressed as a clown. Bailey Twindleweed: Why, it's Killjoy the Clown... The puppet is blown to the ground a few feet away. A bearded woman lands on it with an elbow drop from above. She then throws the puppet into a cage and begins to flex. Bailey Twindleweed: ...Bertha, the bearded strong lady... The cage is revealed to contain a larger lizard creature which attacks the puppet before it is whipped by a man standing off-screen. The lizard spits the puppet out, sending it flying out of the cage as the man raises his whip triumphantly. Bailey Twindleweed: ...Lazarus, the lizard tamer... As the puppet flies through the air, it is shot multiple times from below by a woman wielding revolvers. Bailey Twindleweed: ..and Trixie the trick shooter! All of the performers jump onto the center stage as the Nomad anxiously stares at the puppet. Bailey Twindleweed: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Twindleweed's Phenomenal Four! ...trademark. (under his breath) Come on, kid, you're killing the mood. Clap for Pete's sake! At Twindleweed's encouragement, the Nomad accidentally claps and brings the popcorn bucket of an audience member to life. Lady: Ahh! Dark magic! Skout: Magic? Toth: Magic?! Bailey Twindleweed: Magic? (rips off the Nomad's fake beard) The Nomad of Nowhere?! He's real, and he's here?! Toth: (taking out her axe) You were right, Skout. This place IS making me feel better. Skout: Yay...? Bailey Twindleweed: Ladies and gentlemen! For your safety, please evacuate immediately! No refunds will be offered. What the- Where'd he go? In the midst of the panic, the Nomad makes an attempt to escape, only to be stopped in his tracks by bullets shot at his feet. Trixie: Easy there, hombre. This show ain't over yet. Lazarus uses his whip to pull the Nomad closer, where Bertha punches him to the ground. He is then lifted into the air by one of Killjoy's balloons, and dropped into the lizard cage when Trixie pops it. Bailey Twindleweed: Sorry, fella, but you never had a chance. You see, the Phenomenal Four ain't just circus performers, they're ex-bounty hunters too. Lazarus: Helps to pad out the resume. Bertha: Bailey called me a real 3-for-1 hire! Bailey: Shut your hot dog holsters! Toth: Not so fast. I have a proposition for you. Bailey Twindleweed: Who are you? Toth: I am Captain Toth, right hand to Don Paragon. And if you turn over the Nomad to me, I'll ensure we are all rewarded appropriately. Bailey Twindleweed: All? Lady, we captured him without any of your help! We ain't letting no middle man get in the way of our reward. We already gotta split all our profits five ways! Though, I guess that's better since we lost the human cannonball. Rest in peace, Harry, wherever you landed. Toth: (angrier) Let me rephrase. If you don't hand over the Nomad, then we're going to have a problem. Skout: Now, hold on everyone! (holds up cotton candy) Why don't we all calm down and talk this out over some cotton candy? Lazarus: (pulls the cotton candy out of Skout's hand with his whip) Talking isn't exactly our style. Toth: Well, that's one thing we can agree on. Skout: Ok! But, what if it was all our styles? Like, collectively? I just feel like together we can- Bertha: (interrupting Skout) Honey, I don't like the way youse talking down to us. As everyone begins to argue amongst each other, the Nomad uses this chance to escape the cage. The large lizard jumps and hisses at the Nomad, but he holds out his finger and scratches its chin, calming it. The Nomad takes the lizard's collar off after seeing the hatch on the top of the cage, asking the lizard to help him reach it. Skout notices this and attempts to tell everyone else. Skout: Um, excuse me. Excuse me! Bailey Twindleweed: Lazarus, shut her up. Toth: Don't you dare! Lazarus: Ha! Or what? Lazarus raises his whip just as the lizard, now out of its cage, uses its long tongue to pull Lazarus into its mouth. Lazarus: The irony! Bailey Twindleweed and Toth: The Nomad is loose! Bertha: Oh no you don't! Toth attempts to throw her axe, only for Bertha to grab her arm from behind. Toth pulls out a knife and cuts part of Bertha's beard off, to her dismay. Bailey Twindleweed: Fill him full of lead! Trixie: Easy. Trixie pulls her revolvers out and takes aim at the Nomad when a pie suddenly hits her in the face. The Nomad stands on top of a box of props as he throws more pies, each of them shot out of the air before they can reach Trixie. Taking cover behind the box, the Nomad begins to count on his fingers. Trixie reaches the box and walks up to him. Trixie: Like shootin' an idiot in a barrel. Huh? Trixie's revolvers click because she is out of bullets. The Nomad uses this opportunity to repeatedly clap and bring all of her spare bullets to life, which jump out of her holster and run away. Trixie gives chase to the bullets. Trixie: What- Get back here you little varmints! The Nomad proudly leans against the box of props when Skout jumps out from behind him. Skout: Now stop right there, Mister Nomad! Toth and Bertha are heard and Toth comes flying in from off-screen, hitting Skout and sending both flying through a wall of the tent. Bertha: (pointing at the Nomad) Get over here, little man. (the Nomad runs) Hey, where do you think you're going? The Nomad climbs to the top of a support pole, which has a small platform with a cannon on it. Bertha begins to punch the pole. Bertha: Come to mama! The Nomad holds onto the cannon, which falls and lands on top of Bertha, trapping her inside. Bertha: Hey! That ain't fightin' fair! The lizards runs by in the background, still holding a screaming Lazarus in its mouth. Killjoy honks his nose, getting the Nomad's attention. He puts on angry expression, and ties two balloons into a pair of nunchaku. He spins them around. The Nomad the fires Bertha out of the cannon, causing her to hit Killjoy and Trixie. They land on a trampoline which sends them flying out of the tent. The lizard sits next to the Nomad and Twindleweed, and angrily glares at Lazarus, who is still in its mouth. Lazarus: No, no, no, no, no, no, wait! The lizard spits Lazarus out, sending him flying through the tent as well. The Nomad rushes to one of the exits, but is blocked by Toth. Toth: Nomad. You and I have unfinished business. Bailey Twindleweed: (holding Lazarus' whip) Oh no you don't! That's our money you're talking to, our livelihood! Skout: Can we please just work together?! Toth throws her axe at the Nomad, who ducks. It flies at Twindleweed, who also ducks, causing a dollar to fall from his hat. The Nomad picks it up and examines it. Twindleweed fixes his hat as Killjoy, Bertha and Trixie fall back onto the stage behind him. Lazarus falls back down a few moments later. Bailey Twindleweed: I don't need to work with nobody so long as I got nobodies working for me! Now Get. Me. Tha- The Nomad claps once more, causing everyone to freeze in anticipation. Twindleweed's hat comes alive and proceeds to spill out a large pile of dollars and coins. Trixie: I thought you said we were hardly making ends meet! Lazarus: Looks like Bailey's been holding out on us. Bailey: He-hey Toth! How about we work toge- (Bertha picks Twindleweed up by his head) Hey, wait a minute, gang! What are you doing? Put me down, okay? P-put me down! Stop! Skout: Um... Does this mean we can take the Nomad now? Trixie: I think we've got all the rewards we need right here. Lazarus: You mean taking the boss's gold? Or firing the boss from the cannon? Trixie: Yes. Bertha stuffs Twindleweed into the cannon and aims it upwards. Killjoy honks his nose and then fires the cannon, sending Twindleweed flying through a support beam and out of the tent. The tent begins to fall apart. Bertha: Oops. As the tent falls apart, the lizard grabs hold of the Nomad with its tongue and pulls him to safety. He hops on its back and rides away on it. Toth and Skout burst from the rubble of the tent. Toth: No... No! We had the Nomad right where we wanted him! Skout: I'm sorry, Toth... But at least we got cotton candy! Toth growls as Skout pulls out cotton candy. Meanwhile, the Nomad hops off of the lizard, bidding it a farewell as he walks away into the sunset. The small lizard from the beginning appears by the large lizard's side to watch the Nomad as the screen cuts to black. Category:Transcripts